I live in interesting times.
And I'm glad for it.
Max the dog recovered totally from his snake bite. And there were not any signs of more. But that didn't stop me from overdressing every time I went into the back yard.
Two months ago Hudson caught a squirrel, and played with it until it died. Barring an end-of-the-year surprise, that makes one snake (in two pieces), three baby opossums, and one squirrel I've put in the trash this year.
Speaking of rodents and reptiles, I no longer have to wonder what happened to my old high school friend Todd Williamson. He's going by his middle name (Dorsey) now and after what seemed an unsuccessful stint at being a cook, he's now day trading out in Lake Tahoe. (I've had his cooking. It was a smart move.)
I spent two days with him, and it didn't even take that whole time to figure out why his wife walked out on him a few years ago.
It might have been that he wakes to the sound of his own voice. (Seriously. His alarm is him singing that it's time for him to get up.) It started going off at 9:00 AM, and he promptly woke up at 3:00 PM.)
It might have been the line of dead flies on his kitchen counter, in a neat row with the rotten fruit he planned on juicing.
Or the lecture about healthy living as he paid for his wine, cigarettes, and plastic-wrapped deli food.
Maybe it was that he gave me instructions on how to walk properly.
Or the instructions he gave me on how to pour a Guinness. (Raise your hand if you find this especially funny.)
Or that he woke me up from jet-lagged sleep to yell at me, about how I poured the Guinness.
Maybe it was that he decided what I'd eat and drink when we went out.
Or that we had to see the whole of Lake Tahoe in ten-minute increments. We'd stop at an overlook, get out, and when he was ready we'd leave and drive to another overlook, stay until he was ready to leave, then drive more.
Might have been that the only thing I asked him to have at his house was coffee and milk, and he managed to have decaf and almond milk instead.
Might have been his insistence that road signs were meant for other people and not him.
I'll stop there since this is just the abridged list. At any rate, I found the piety and him being prone to fits of rage just really unattractive.
I ever meet his ex-wife, I'll buy her a drink. Of her choosing. And she can pour it any way she pleases. (Unless she'd rather have the cash for therapy.)